Bed Rest Etiquette

by,
Kathie

Is there such a thing as Bed Rest Etiquette?

I'm not really sure what the etiquette is for the person on bed rest because when you're ordered to take to your bed when, physically, you feel mostly well all bets are off on how to conduct your business. You're in bed after all.

Because your world has shrunk to the size of your bedsheets not only does everyone--their ambulatory lives--irritate you, but you even start to bug yourself.

I think most women probably do their best to maintain a good mood and pleasant appearance--hahaha--just kidding. Well, not totally kidding.

A lot of women need to look good to feel good. And others find that pushing any negativity from their minds goes a long way in coloring their time on bed rest.

But people like me, find it impossible not to entertain, from time to time, the deepest negative possibilities because I feel it somehow prepares me. I can't stand the thought that I would construct some sort of phony positive outlook to have it shattered by the one variable that affects 0.01% of cases.

I think people deal with adversity differently and while visitors probably grant the mother-to-be some leeway in her lack of happy moods, it can be very hard for the bed-bound mother to grant the same lee-way to her visitors. And even if the bed rester doesn't admit her feelings to the visitor, the feelings can fester and build inside, causing more stress.

If you're on bed rest you've probably had your share of Research-Rhondas visit. Within minutes of arriving bedside, Rhonda has already logged three-dozen hours on the computer and knows more of your condition than you doctor does. This person can be reassuring or frustrating as hell depending on the bed rester's personality.

Gloomy Gladys visits, bearing bad news and forty anecdotes regarding how bed rest goes bad, or worse, how your case is the worst one she's heard so far.

Happy Hannah's no picnic either. Doesn't she realize this is serious? That it's not a party to be sentenced to rest. Much as it sounds as though it might be fun.

This is where ettiquette comes in. For the visitors. Bring your listening ears, people. Think hard about the person you're visiting. How does she handle other crises? Does she hunger for information or crave distraction? Don't handle the bed rester as you would like to be handled unless you know that's what she wants and needs.

Mostly, use your head, be forthright about being unsure how to help. That will be appreciated as much as anything you could bring or offer as advice.

Just be yourself (if you're nice) and share a little of the outside world--she'll love you for it forever.

Those of you on bed rest--what do you want from your visitors?

And visitors--what have you found to be helpful in supporting your loved one?

anon comments...

I'm trying to figure out how to allow anon comments, so let's try this:



What's been the toughest thing about bed rest so far?



What's the funniest or strangest thing someone said to you regarding bed rest?

It's Hot in Here!

Okay, so summer in Pittsburgh is chilly and pleasant this year, but Regina and I know spending time on pregnancy bed rest can be hellish. We'd like to support you as you sweat out the days, weeks or months and your life shrinks to the size of a bed or hospital room. We've been there, we've know how it burns to have a pregnancy turn in this unexpected direction and we're here to help see you through.



Regina and I (both of us have lived with some degree of bed rest with Regina possibly setting, or at the very least, sniffing a record of some sort) are thrilled you found us though sad that you're currently prone, waiting, frustrated and in need of this particular community. Some of you might feel a twinge of relief that your doctor took action, that being on bed rest puts the health of your pregancy in your hands at least a little, that is. We'd love to hear that end of the story as well.


Whatever your feelings and worries, your thoughts are welcome here as Regina and I offer our input on how to survive a very difficult time. We'll post to the blog several times a week and would love your comments in the hopes of creating a nurturing environment that peaks your interest and provides a respite from the sometimes insane existence called pregnancy bed rest.

In addition to telling us a little about yourselves, we'd love to hear what you want and need from your family and friends while you're on bed rest. If you head over to our website Bed Rest is Hell you'll find some of our suggestions of ways friends and families can help. But, we want your thougths as well to better fill out this world of bed rest and make it as painless as possible!

Feel free to comment as we'd love to hear your thoughts.